June 22, 2010

Nostalgia: And i cannot feel my heartbeats.


I've still got sand in my shoes
And I can't shake the thought of you
I shake it all, forget you
Why, why would I want to
I know we said goodbye
Anything else would've been confused but I wanna see you again.


"i'd never hurt you," He says with his arms around my waist,
His kisses on my forehead.
"i'm so glad you came,
i was so lonely and sad,
But you're here instead."

And he sits alone with the drink in his hands,
"i think i know you from somewhere," he tells me,
Taking huge gulps from his cup of cheap beer.
"i think i know how you think,
How you'd rather see me crying than laugh,
How you say all the things about the paint and the sky."

"There was one time when i stole their hearts,
i'll admit.
But it was accendental,
They didn't know me either."

And that's when i become distracted by your voice and eyes,
Like the falling leaves when i ran away from home for hours on end,
Kissing the rain falling on my face,
Your stars falling into the palms of my hands.
You shake me from your memory,
Telling yourself "She never saw through my body,
She never heard what i said,
Just what i sang."

He wishes he could draw my sleeping face,
That he could touch me when they're around.
"But i'm too afraid," he whispered into my tangles of hair.
"i'm afraid they'll see."

"But i don't care," i say.
"You don't have to explain anything,
Just be the one who tells me how you love how strange i am,
How i'm the sunsetting in your rear view mirror above the overpass."

So he walks three steps behind me over the frost covered pavement,
Sits in my car as i scrape its windows in the morning,
Killing time with me because he never sleeps anymore.

"i know i've seen you somewhere before,
Inside her eyes,
Inside her skull,
Pounding against my chest making me cry for her in my sleep," he says,
His breath smelling of alcohol and cigarettes.

And in the end,
When the world is continually falling apart at my fingertips,
When i'm laughing and cracks are forming,
Taking you farther and farther down,
The smell of sulfur and ash dancing through your hair,
i'll be outside,
Watching your sky falling all around my face.
And i cannnot feel my heart beating because you make it so cold outside in the snow.

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